is scary. There is no safety, there is no control, there is no net to catch you if you when you fall. Cancer does not discriminate. It kills the old and beautiful as well as the young and deserving.

You are not alone if you or someone you love has begun the battle with cancer. There are TONS of resources on the net to help you figure out how to become an informed, educated patient and help yourself to be treated properly.

There are stories of hope, stories of fear, stories of conquest and at last, defeat . The poem to the left was the first poem I read after my little sister was diagnosed with AML (Acute Meiloyd Leukemia) January 10, 1991, just a few short months after I had brain surgery (benign). My grandfather was diagnosed that October from a lifetime of smoking with Esophigal cancer.

My mother lost her battle on January 29, 1998. She died from Ovarian cancer as it grew into her colon. She lived 18 years in the shadows of cancer, 10 of which were on chemo with very few remissions. She had over 8 major surgeries in her abdominal cavity. They finally cut her belly button out in 1994.

I spent my teen age existence understanding the importance of what this life has to offer... this website is a testament to the many strange and wonderful things I have been through.

I think I have become a really good person because of what I have had to face with my family, but I would never wish this kind of illness or this kind of death on any living creature. Watching someone you love slowly die in front of you and being utterly helpless has to be one of the worst feelings this life has to offer. But it also makes you a better person.

I used to think that my genes were bad... then I realized that I have the kind of genes that can conqueor cancer... or at least give it a run for it's money. Even though I am heart broken that my mother died I still have my little sister and my grandfather. And I hopefully get to grow old with her.

If you are having a tough time... don't hesitate to write.

I know what you're feeling, because I've been there, too.
Who will you turn to and what will you do?
You've been thrust in a world where your fears are awakened,
You're weary and worn, you faith is badly shaken.

The days run together and the hours are endless,
Fate deals the cards and you're standing defenseless.

Some things you can handle, some days you can't cope,
But from somewhere inside comes that glimmer of hope.

You don't know how long-maybe days, maybe months,
You see, I know what you're feeling because I've been there once.

Most times you care, but there are times you don't.
You want to give up, but you know in your heart that you won't.

Some days are a blessing, some are a curse,
You think you hit bottom, and then it gets worse.

You need someone to lean on, just someone to care
You reach out for a friend, but there's no one there.

Yes, I know what you're feeling, because I've been there before,
Hardly eating or sleeping, just pacing the floor.

You're tired and angry that life's just not fair,
You'd give anything not to be there.

So how do I know all these things about that?
Because, you see, I've walked in your shoes
And I've been where you're at.

No, you're not alone, and yes, you and I have faced the same foes,
Here's a few words of encouragement from someone who knows.

Many will follow after, there's been many before,
For every tear you've shed, I've shed a thousand more.

Yes, i know what you're feeling because I've been there too,
But I made it through somehow, and so can you.
Brenda Denise Small